Choosing your Support

There are many ways that iatrogenic harm can occur, so it’s important to choose your support intentionally.

Some potential risks include:

Stigmatizing language or attitudes
Misdiagnosis or overdiagnosis
Inappropriate treatment
Neglect or lack of follow-up
Abuse of power or boundary violations

Therefore, there are a few questions you should consider:

Do Your Values Align?

Therapy works best when your values hum in the same key. Two people pulling in opposite directions don’t move far; two in rhythm can move mountains.

Ask yourself: does your counsellor’s way of seeing the world speak to something true in you? This isn’t about finding your mirror — it’s about finding someone whose way of being helps you grow into your own. A good fit in therapy doesn’t mean perfect agreement, but a shared respect for each other’s truths.

Basic values — spiritual, moral, even political — can quietly shape how both of you make sense of suffering, change, and hope. These things matter more than people think.

When your counsellor’s worldview aligns, even loosely, with your own, the work deepens; when it clashes at the core, progress can stumble.

Do You Feel at Ease With Your Therapist?

It’s about the feelings, the vibe, the energy, isn’t it? Some people we just click with, others we don’t — no one’s fault, just one of the small cosmic jokes of human chemistry.
Research in psychotherapy consistently shows that the therapeutic alliance (which is the bond and sense of trust between client and therapist) is the strongest predictor of positive outcome.

If, at the first meeting, you feel uneasy, repelled, or unseen, it’s all right to take that seriously.

Jung used to remind his students that,

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact
of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction,
both are transformed.”

If the chemistry isn’t there, it’s okay to look someplace else.

Do You Speak the Same Language — Literally and Figuratively?

Language is more than words. It’s tone, rhythm, the quiet pauses between thoughts. You’ll want a therapist who can catch your meaning — not just the literal one, but the flickers behind it, the irony, the hurt hidden in humour.

If you speak in metaphors or cultural shorthand, it’s only fair if your therapist can meet you there. Shared understanding helps, especially in places like Malaysia where English, Malay, Mandarin, Tamil, and a dozen dialects each carry their own music. Misunderstood words can misplace feelings.

As Wittgenstein said,

“The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.”

Choose someone who widens, not narrows, your world.

Assessing Your Needs

Before reaching out for help, spend a quiet moment taking stock of what’s troubling you. Are you struggling with anxiety, despair, burnout, loneliness? Have you endured trauma that keeps resurfacing?
If so, that might guide you toward the right kind of help.

A psychiatrist can support with medical and biological interventions (for instance, if symptoms are severe or long-standing, ie: a schizophrenic wont benefit from talk therapy alone, medication is important here).

A psychologist or counsellor focuses more on talk therapy, which helps you managing that day to day voices in your head, those obsessions, those itch in your head or somewhere unknown or unreachable in yourself, a tangible support which you could see and feel, who’s existence is to be a mirror, a gentle, kinder voice beside you, a place for secrets, shame, and doubts, to look out for your blind spots………..

There’s a hierarchy of importance — though both paths serve different parts of the same whole. Research shows that many people benefit from a combination of therapy and medication, so, carefully examine yourself, and then decide your cup of tea.

Listen to your body. Watch your mind. Healing isn’t about riddance; it’s about relationship — with yourself, with others, and with life as it unfolds.

So, choose what feels sustainable in the long run. Enjoy the journey, yes — but remember that in mental health, the end doesn’t justify the means; the means are the making of you.

GLHF ♥

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Key Things to Remember:

A therapist isn’t a friend — though spirit of friendship is ever so inevitable. The goal is growth, not comfort.
Therapy is a relationship of transcendence: two people co-creating meaning.
Look for qualifications, yes — but also heart, humility, and humour.
Know what you want from therapy. A vague yearning for “something better” is a good enough start, but shape it as you go.
Compatibility matters — shared language, mutual respect, emotional resonance.
Understand the therapist’s approach — psychodynamic, CBT, existential, person-centered, integrative — and see if it aligns with your temperament.
Most of all, begin. Action invites motivation. I repeat, action invites motivation. Not the other way round. Waiting for perfect readiness is a kind of avoidance in disguise.

So take the leap — gently, curiously, and hold on to the littlest spark of hope. You don’t have to believe that therapy will change you. You only need to be curious enough to see what happens if you let it.